God doesn't have a problem with R&B, it's man!

Just got out the shower and I was thinking about something.....I was thinking about the world and everything going on in it. I started thinking about a conversation I had today about music. We were talking about how some people are so quick to judge a person if they aren't singing gospel. This is a personal subject for me bc I've experienced judgment from my own brothers and sisters in Christ about my music. People leave me comments all the time saying "I thought you did gospel" and how I'm compromising. It really gets on my nerves. I appreciate and thank my true fans who've been holding me down all 4 albums. Thank you. This blog is just questions I think about all the time about some of us Christians and our views on music and is not meant to try to change anybody's mind or offend anyone. It's just my thoughts....

Why is it that when a person says they're going to college, no one judges them and asks them why they aren't going to a christian college? Why is it when someone says I'm going to apply for a job as an accountant in the secular world, no one judges them and asks why they won't go work and do accounting for a church? It's because we need these jobs so the world can run. We need banks...we need bank tellers, etc. Why is it when painters paint their pictures, no one tells they can only paint pictures of Jesus? But for some reason when it comes to music, when you say you do anything other than gospel, some people in the church say you are 'of the world' and need to come sing gospel. Why is pursuing a 'secular' career in music looked at differently than any other secular job to some Christians? This gets frustrating at times, but I remember MY purpose and keep going...understanding everyone won't see your vision. Reminds me of a quote by Tony Gaskins.."Everybody won't understand everything because everything isn't for everybody so get what's for you."

Some of us have coworkers, bosses, etc that we work with and know they aren't saved or living right. But we go do our job and ask God to let our lights shine around them while we go work our 'secular' jobs...ie accountants, receptionist, teacher, bus driver, cook, cashier, etc. We hear them cursing, see them cheating & No one has a problem with that. No one says quit your job because you're around those sinners all day. But when it comes to music, if you're not singing gospel, you're looked at with the sideeye. But when you work in corporate America,at a Burger King , or at a school, no one thinks of it in the same way. Remember...those are 'secular jobs' as well.

To sum it up....I believe it is our job to let our light shine no matter what our job is. It's not God that judges us based on a music genre, it's man! At the same time, I believe when we have Christ in our hearts, we'll be mindful of what we do and what comes out of our mouth. No matter what we do, we should point people to Jesus and do our best to live for Him. We all have different purposes and God uses different methods to reach people, but we all have one thing in common...to let our light shine and be witnesses for Christ. Don't be so closed minded as to box God into a music genre. He's bigger than that. God uses people everywhere. This is nothing against gospel music because I absolutely love gospel music. As a matter of fact, I have gospel songs. All I'm saying is that singing Gospel is an awesome tool, but it's not the only way God uses people in this life.

Don't define me or any other person by a music genre because you don't know how God is using them behind the scenes. Last, always remember to pray for people when you feel they are doing something you don't understand or doing something you 'feel' they shouldn't be doing because when you talk about them to others instead of talking to them in love and out of concern, you mess up your chance of ever reaching them. You will always win people over with love far easier than criticizing them and pushing them away. Remember that. Loving is #winning. Judging.. #thataintwinning.

PS. To those who feel that singing R&B is wrong...know that there is a whole book in the Bible dedicated to romance & love songs...Song of Solomon...go read it for yourself. God has no problem with it. It's us. It's not for everyone to do, but it has its place in the world. :)

I'd Rather Be Alone

Super Producer Drathoven collabs with Shei Atkins and Rapper TroubleSum. Check out "I'd Rather Be Alone".

Twitter Names:
drathoven
troublesum
sheiatkins

"Emotional"

If anyone knows how to bring the worst out of a woman...it's a man.lol Our man or those closest to us see us like no one sees us. They see that part of us that we hide from those we want to impress. The hear the nagging, they see the finger pointing and head shaking. The hear the yells. They receive the back to back phone calls and sarcasm. All we really want is to feel loved and appreciated by our man.

My new single is called "Emotional" and it was written to help a man better understand how we work. I had to do it ladies.lol Check it out right here....my brand new single...."Emotional". www.sheiatkins.com

Envy & Jealousy

Envy is a terrible thing! It's ungratefulness at its finest! It makes u hate the blessings some1 else has...it makes u strongly feel u should have it more than them. It makes you count everyone else's blessings but your own. Envy made the enemy say "I should be the 1 on the throne" "I should be the 1 they worship" Look where that got him. Dr. Mike Murdock has a quote that says "The quickest cure for ingratitude is loss." Don't let it take you losing something to realize how blessed you are, how good you really have it.

Lesson: U have something of great value! Don't compare. Love your own self. Be happy w/who u are in spite of what u don't have bc if u had to go through what they did 2 be where they are, u'd think twice. Don't take what you have for granted. Good things are coming to you that you can't even imagine. So careful being jealous, because what's coming to you may be even better than what you 'think' you want. Feel me? But you'll never get it being jealous and envious. Be grateful.

God Bless,

Shei Atkins

Check out Shei Atkins New Christmas Video "Spread The Love"

As a Gift from me to my fans, I made this song a FREE DOWNLOAD.
Click Link or copy in paste it in your browser To Download "Spread The Love" Happy Holidays!!! http://twiturm.com/n3cam#

How To Love Yourself

First off I wanna start this off by letting your know that you young lady are beautiful. You young man are handsome. You are smart, you are unique. You are good enough inspite of what anyone told you. There is only one you. God made you. God loves you and there's nothing you can do about it.

I'm writing this blog because we hear alot that we should love ourselves and that we can't love someone else the way they need to be loved if we don't even love ourselves. The question is do you love yourself? Do you love what you see when u look in the mirror...without all the makeup...weave...accessories...butt pads...etc? Do you appreciate your gifts and talents? Don't admire everyone else and look down on yourself. I'm talking about the real you.

If you really want to change the world, if you really want to experience that life you’ve always desired, you must first love yourself fully, because all the advice in the world won’t matter if you don’t.

It won’t always be be easy, but your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have.

1. If you really wanna love yourself, first you gotta stop comparing yourself to others and realize God made you the way he felt you should be.
Embrace the real you. God made some of us big boned, thin, athletic builds, pear shapes, etc. Don't compare...just be the best you you can be. Be the best big boned you you can be. You can't enjoy your life envying someone else's. No one can take your place. Please remember that. As you stop comparing and appreciate what u have and who u are, u'll attract more positive people and situations into your life. You'll attract people that love you for who you are. Only when you stop comparing yourself to others can then you then begin to love yourself.

2. You gotta stop seeking approval.
Seeking approval is similar to comparing yourself to others, and it’s fair to say that we all do it from time to time. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never sought approval from my family or friends and what we call 'church folk', etc, but I’m also going to tell you that when approval was my main focus those were also not the happiest times in my life. Yes, when I was busy trying please everybody else, I was the one who ended up unhappy.

Over the past 3 years or so, I’ve come to realize that my career path probably won’t be the most accepted by previous fans and some church folk...maybe even some family members. My next album I'm doing is an R&B album...in previous years, I've been known as a 'gospel artist'. I'm an entrepreneur..so those who feel I should go to school, get a degree and a 9 to 5 don't understand what I do because this road is not easy..but the pay off is awesome. Yet, I’ve come to discover that when you continuously seek approval from others to validate your own self worth, you’re simply damaging your relationship with yourself. I’ve accepted that my line of work might not be the ‘safest’ but I’m OK with that.
This doesn't just apply to working though...this applies to relationships as well. Stop seeking approval by being something you're not to be loved by someone. If someone can't love you for who you are, they don't deserve to be in your life. I don't care who it is. It's time for you to be happy...and you can't be happy living for everyone else but YOU. When you have an unhealthy relationship with "I", you attract unhealthy relationships with others. So until you start loving you, you'll settle for negative people who don't have your back for the sake of not being lonely. Enough is enough.

Not seeking approval doesn’t mean not to care. I can say without hesitation that I genuinely care about what my family and friends think, however it’s important you stop the process of seeking. When you rely on being happy from an outside source, you're setting yourself up to be miserable.

3. Next, you gotta believe in yourself.
Loving and believing in yourself go hand in hand. You can’t love yourself if you don’t believe in yourself, and you can’t believe in yourself if you don’t love yourself first. Believe in you. I don't care if you're a cook. You better cook with confidence and joy. You might be a salesman in a clothing store. You better sale with confidence and be the best at what you do. You may be a receptionist. You better answer that phone and work it.lol Do you and do it well. To fully experience what it means to live, you must have a confidence in all you do, even during the times in which you come up short.

Believing in yourself can be hard at times, especially when nothing seems to be going right, but it is during those times that you need your own love the most.
The wonderful about believing in yourself is that you are the only one responsible. You don’t need a stamp of approval before you can to begin to have faith in yourself.

Trust in your judgement and know that through both the good and bad you are good enough and you are worthy.

4. Forgive Yourself
I’ve gone through a period of my life where I was extremely hard on myself. I couldn't love myself and I couldn't embrace God's love because I didn't feel I was worthy of it. My emotions were everywhere and I thought I was crazy...literally. I was acting out. I was bitter. I was hurt and I hurt people around me because of it. Every little mistake I made, I quickly amplified it into something much larger than it really was. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the fact that I didn’t forgive myself was preventing me from connecting with who I really was.

I know people who have carried their mistakes with them their entire life, and as result they remain unhappy at the core. I know what it’s like to make a mistake and feel like you shouldn’t be forgiven, but that kind of thinking is nonsense. There is no action not worthy of forgiveness. Forgiveness may take time, but don’t look back at your mistakes as a fatal flaw you must fix, instead choose to embrace them completely as the whole person you are.

Forgiving yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings can be difficult and does take practice, but it remains essential in loving yourself fully.

5. Give yourself some 'Me Time'
Everyone may not agree with this part..but I do...mostly because this is naturally my personality. But I believe you don't have to have people around you all the time. I feel it's important to make time for you and just practice silence and self reflect. Some of my happiest moments have occurred when I’m simply sitting in silence by myself. While I can be a very social person at times, I also have to have my alone time. For me, this sometimes means meditation, prayer, worship, or sometimes I’ll just go for a long walk or go to the bookstore and just chill. Practicing silence allows for you to get a glimpse of the person you really are.

I know the act of spending time alone may not qualify as love for some people, but I feel I’m most connected with myself spiritually when I’m still.
You owe it to yourself to be silent at least once a day.

6. U Gotta take care of your body through eating healthy and exercising.
Part of loving yourself is allowing your body to be in its top form. An occasional indulgence in alcohol or some fast food isn’t the end of the world but making a habit of destroying your body is. Many don’t realize, but your relationship to your physical body and mind is very important.

Truly loving yourself means that you take care of your body and do everything you can to keep it in good shape, both physically and mentally. Don’t expect to have a good relationship with yourself if you abuse the machine consistently.

A few years ago, I realized that I wasn’t taking as much care of my body as I should be. It took me gaining 30 pounds twice and losing it to understand the cycle I was in. I gained the weight because I can admit that I'm an emotional eater and when I get comfortable or close to a goal...I tend to slack off. So after losing the 30 pounds again, I did what I had to do to keep the weight off and ensure I'd never gain that weight without any kids to show for it. I became a personal trainer..lol While it’s only been a few years, I’ve noticed the benefits of going to the gym and eating healthy on the regular..plus I've kept the weight off. Small steps make a massive difference.

7. Use your gifts/talents
One of the greatest ways you can love yourself is to express your gifts, whatever they may be. Finding and honing your brilliance is a way to reveal what it is that makes you remarkable. Do you enjoy to write? Share your stories with the world. Do you like to draw? Paint until your hearts content. Do you like helping people find their purpose? Do so by connecting with as many people as you can. It doesn’t matter what your passions are, express them to the best of your ability.

Unfortunately, Some people chose not to express their talents and passions because they feel as if they might get ridiculed or made fun of. But the reality is, failing to express yourself is failing to love yourself. Loving yourself comes down to expression.

Do me a favor...Make each day a day in which you continue to deepen your relationship with yourself and experience the life you know you were meant to live. The world depends on you to love yourself.

I love myself.

The more important question is, do you?

Being Passive Gets You Passed Up!

This post is to share what I've learned in life about being passive and how it can help you get what you need and want out of a situations. Tired of getting taken for granted? Ladies...are you tired of sleeping with men who force themselves on you when you really didn't wanna do it but was just afraid to SPEAK UP?! Tired of holding back your true feelings because you're afraid to SPEAK UP? Men, tired of given in to the pressure of what you really don't wanna do because you won't SPEAK UP?

I made up a quote that says "Being passive gets you passed up". And it's so true. I've missed out on sooo many things because I didn't speak up. I didn't speak up because I could see that the people didn't really wanna do whatever it was that I needed. But that's called being passive. If you want something or need something done, you've got to speak up...whether the people want to do it or not. The Bible says you have not because you ask not.

If you wanna make it in any kind of business, you'll get run over if you don't speak your mind. You've got to boldly ask for what you want. You've got to speak up and say "I don't like this" or "I don't like that". You've got to speak up and say "I will not tolerate you treating or talking to me like this"...whatever it is that needs to be said. See, you gotta know your worth, because some people will treat you like they know you need them. They'll treat you any kind of way because they feel they are all you've got. Sometimes you gotta let'em know.lol If you've been passive all your life, this won't be easy...but you've got to do/say something different to get different results. This isn't about being mean, it's about being true to yourself. I've seen cases where people let outside forces run their ship and weren't happy about it but never said anything. That's what happens when you're passive. Controlling people can smell passive people a mile away and they'll leech on to you and control your life. Next thing you know, you'll be asking yourself "How did I become a passenger in my own life?" Because you won't speak up! I've been let down so many times for not saying what I really wanted to say. I've taken crap from people that I wouldn't take now. Since I knew people didn't really want to do it, I was grateful for the 'little' that they did do for me. NO!lol That mentality will get your butt passed up.

So, from this point on, heel shaking and all, make up your mind that you will say what you mean, and mean what you say, just don't say it mean. You deserve to be respected and if they disrespect you, then find somebody else to do the job. But you gotta respect YOU first because sometimes people treat you how they see you treat yourself and feel they're doing 'little ole' you a favor. Close mouths don't get fed. And remember, what you fail to ask for will be something you fail to get.