Friday, April 1, 2011

Overcoming Molestation/Rape

I was molested by an Uncle, Uncle In Law, Brother's Friend and almost by a friends brother at the ages of 4, 10 & 12. You may be like dang, what did you do to bring this on yourself for it to be more than one person...but Did you know that molestation can be a generational curse that runs in your family. A lot of women in my family have been raped and molested and some by family members...same as me. How is it that I've experienced the same thing older women in my family went through and these abusers don't even know each other? Generational Curse...but there is a way out..through Jesus Christ. I wrote this blog today bc for some reason, the enemy tried to remind me of all this junk today and me being the authentic person that I am knows that if He's trying to remind me of it, I know he's trying to remind you too. So, since he wanted to remind me of that, I wrote this blog to remind you of what Jesus will do for

There are negative effects that come with molestation...many times the violators are ppl you know..1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are molested. The negative effects are low-self esteem, promiscuity, perversion, etc...You can be restored. You just have to be willing to make the step to Him bc He's waiting on you.

It's time to start loving yourself. It's time to break the cycle of molestation and you can overcome. But the first thing u gotta do is acknowledge something happened. We bury this stuff so deep and wonder why we do certain things. It's time for you to release the past and embrace the future. It's time for you to no longer allow your abuser to have control over your life. Allow God to heal that may wonder why God would allow that to happen. Do you know the enemy is comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He's always looking for someone to jack up. But guess what, God had your back all along.

We walk around with bitterness and angry in our hearts...but God is ready to heal. Inspite of everything that has happened, we have to keep pushing. Being molested causes so many emotional issues in our lives...from fear to insecurity to low self worth. But guess what, you're not what happened to are who God says you are! My question to you is, what will you do if the person never apologizes to you. Will you still hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness? You can't. You gotta forgive whether they apologize or not.

I talk about this a little in my book "Get a Man, Keep a Man" and I just wanted to touch on it a little more & encourage you to let go and know that I understand your pain. Know that it is a process but you will get through it.

1.U gotta forgive....
2. Know that forgiveness is a choice and u'll never do it if you're waiting until u feel like it.
3. You can't do it withough God, depend on Him...
4.Pray for your abuser...
5. Release...u gotta let it go to move forward...don't keep moving through life like nothing ever happened. Face it and let it's time to's time to release...


  1. Awesome! Thank you for letting God use you to touch others:)

  2. This is realy brave of you to be this transparent. I was also molested several times as a child by several different people in my family and by my baby sitter. I was something my psyche blocked out for years and i didnt remember it until i was an adult and i struggled through those memories for years. Now, i can say that im free from the shame, fear and guilt that experience placed in my life. I speak openly about it because people need to know there is nothing to be ashamed of because as the victim, you didnt do anything wrong. I am so happy to see a woman sharing her story as well.

    ive been through so really difficult experiences in my life. I also beleive that God has only allowed these things because they serve purpose in that they help me understand and encourage other.

    I follow you on twitter. Thanks for sharing

    check out my blog

  3. What about the generational curse? I've forgiven the men who molested me and am dealing with the emotional effects, but the thought of my own children having to endure such a thing bc of a generational curse makes me want to keep them in a bubble. I don't want to be over protective and I'm already planning to seek further therapy when I'm ready to have children so I'm not so over protective, but now I worry about the generational curse...

  4. This is a wonderful blog. In fact God has placed it on me to start a ministry to help woman overcome being molested. It is a long process. If you don't mind may I please use your blog?!

  5. Hi Shei,

    You are correct in saying that we have to acknowledge the fact that something did happen. God has the power to break each and every curse of the enemy. It is up to us to BELIEVE. You don't have to stay a victim, you can be a victor. God delivered me from nightmares, bad relationships, and self destructive behavior as a result of child sex abuse. I am able to inspire and coach others now. Praise God, once you forgive those who have done you wrong, you are able to move on. Take care, Kate.

  6. Thank you for writing this. I have mostly good days now. I cannot remember everything that happened, I just know something did. Then later when I was in high school, I was assaulted again. I am no longer mad at anyone. I love God with all of my heart. I know He stood with me when these things happened. He still stands with me today. He guided me to this website because I was feeling down. You are right. I am not what happened to me. God made me good. God made me pure. Nobody can take that away from me. Thank you for the reminder and blessings to you.

  7. You are completely right, Shei. Healing starts by admitting to yourself that you were wrong and making yourself aware that you were not at fault. The sad thing about sexual molestation is that it usually occurs within the family. In such cases, the parents immediately doubt the validity of the child’s claims, which thus leads to adverse effects on the child. This is the reason why a child loses trust and confidence, which is also a reason why a child grows up to be a rebel. We see them angry at the world, and as someone considered to be the black sheep of the family. But the real reason behind it is was the parents just refused to listen. I believe it's best to listen without judging.
    Vesta Duvall

  8. I do hope you continue on with this journey of healing, Shei. Remember, never blame yourself. You are simply the victim of a circumstance. It is necessary that you never blame yourself and talk about it more open to someone you trust. Communication is always the first step to healing.
    Lynette Mcguire